Operation: Enduring FF7-dom
by Knight Railey
Summary: Cloud, Vincent, Barret, and Red have been hired by the President of the United States of America for one mission: Kill Bin Laden


Operation 

**Operation: Enduring FF7-dom**   
_By Knight Railey_

**Note:** This fic is about how the government hired a few members of the FF7 crew to kill Bin Laden. Although this story will never really happen and is humor fic, Bin Laden is a serious problem, so don't get me wrong. I just think this coutry needs a good laugh every so often. 

Cloud, Vincent, Barret, and Red walk into the Oval Office. 

Bush: Hello, Cloud.   
Cloud: Evening, Mr. President. What have you called us to do?   
Bush: I need you to kill Bin Laden. We will airlift you over Afganistan and you will be dropped behind enemy lines.   
Vincent: Consider it done, Mr. President.   
Bush: Your county thanks you. 

A few days later, on the plane. 

Captain: We will be dropping you soon.   
Red: Might I ask what the wheather is like?   
Captain: Hold on. *turns on the radio*   
Radio: The weather is expected to be sunny in the morning with increasing mushroom clouds in the afternoon. The temperature looks to be a moderate 2000 degrees with cool winds upwards of around 700 miles per hour. In other words, hot as hell, Bob. Back to you. *Gets turned off*   
Barret: What's we got to work wit?   
Cloud: A few of thew Scare Gernades, a Rocket Launcher with a few missles, Kill-It-Teens...   
Vincent: What is a Kill-it-Teen?   
Cloud: Portable teenages with M-16s...   
Vincent:...   
Cloud: Anyways, plus our nomal weapons and our specialist aabilities.   
Red: Who is the specialist?   
Vincent: I am...   
Barret: What can yoose do?   
Vincent: Snipe... (Author's Note: One of the best abilities in the world, need I remind you.)   
Cloud: Alright, people. Get the packs on. 

A few minutes later, on the ground, Cloud prepares the team for entry into Bin Laden's bunker. 

Cloud: Ok. REMEMBER THE ALIMO!   
Vincent: Don't you mean 9-11?   
Cloud: Yea, that too.   
Vincent:...   
Barret: What are we's waitn' for? LET'S KICK SOME ASS!   
Red: YES, BEAT THE BEHINDS!   
Vincent:... right....   
Cloud: Some battle cry... LET'S GO! * they all go running into the bunker* 

In the bunker, they come to the first closed door. It is heavily gaurded. 

Cloud: Ok. What should we use?   
Red: I say the Kill-it- Teens.   
Barret: No, we need the Missle Launcher!   
Vincent: ... Scare Gernades...   
Cloud: That's too dangerous... I like it. * throws a gernade* Cover you eyes! 

The gernade explodes and Aeris appears. The guards die of excessive scaredness.   
  
Aeris: CLOUD! Where are you?   
Cloud: *whispering to the others* Please, help me.   
Red: Alright. Vincent can snipe it.   
Vincent: *is a step ahead of everyone and shoots her* There...   
Cloud: Thanks, man.   
Vincent: I was thinking of protecting myself, actually...   
Cloud:...   
Vincent: You don't speak the language of the queit, so don't try!   
Cloud: Rrriiiggghhhtttt.   
Barret: I thinks we shoud get goin'.   
Cloud: Ok. Come on. 

The unlease the Kill-it-Teens and use them to build their way to Bin Laden's room. 

Cloud: BIN LADEN!   
Bin Laden: *no one can understand what he say*   
Translator: Cloud Strife, correct?   
Cloud: Yea? What do you wanna make of it?   
Translator: I have a special friend here...   
Sephiroth: *appears from no one* I have a mission to protect this man.   
Cloud: Barret, use your missle launcher. I want to make sure he is dead this time.   
Barret: HAHAHAHA! BOTH OF YOOSE IS GOING TO GET IT THIS TIME! 

Barret fires the missles at everyone in the room, expect the good guys. Whoever Barret doesn't kill, Red kills himself. They all lie misserably on the floor, dead. Cloud and the others return home to talk to the President again. 

Bush: You have served your country well, as a token of our exteme we are sending you home.   
Cloud: You mean I can see Tifa and the kids! I've never met my youngest one, he was born 11 monthes after I left!   
Everyone else:...   
Cloud: What?   
Vincent: I believe my investagation into weither you are a real blonde or not is over...   
Cloud: What is that supposed to mean?   
Vincent: Nevermind... 

They all leave for home. Country safe. And ass been kicked.


End file.
